One of my friends, Becky, deals with intense eczema. It doesn’t bother me; we hang out and hug, and I’m aware it isn’t something you can catch.
Last weekend, we were getting ready for a party at another friend’s place. We often trade outfits, which is fine, but I usually keep my makeup to myself—not because I’m against sharing, but because nobody ever really asked.
Becky asked to borrow my eyeshadow that day, and I agreed. Then she asked for my cushion foundation. I was a bit startled and just said yes, so she used it first.
As I said, I know it’s not contagious, but she had active flare-ups, and the thought of using the applicator and the product after it touched open sores made me uncomfortable. Even if it’s not infectious, I can’t get past the idea of skin fluids on my makeup; it feels unsanitary. If her skin were clear at the time, I probably wouldn’t have minded.
I skipped foundation entirely. When a friend asked why, I just said I didn’t feel like wearing it. She got upset, calling me judgmental and a bully for being ‘grossed out’ by Becky’s condition. I tried to explain it was about hygiene, but now everyone is mad, calling me stuck-up and saying I should have just said no. I was just caught off guard and answered on instinct.
I feel like a jerk now because I was repulsed. Regardless of whether it’s eczema, I don’t think I should have to use something that touched someone else’s open wounds or plasma. I haven’t talked to them since.
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As a girl with psoriasis, I don’t think you’re in the wrong, but clear communication would help. We all have things we’re sensitive about, and this is likely one for her. Be kind but explain your perspective. It’s not contagious, but skin cells in makeup are unappealing to anyone. I never share makeup because it’s just not hygienic.
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NTA - As someone with eczema, I’d never borrow someone else’s makeup because I’d worry about ingredients triggering a flare-up. She shouldn’t have asked, and you need to practice saying no. Sharing makeup is a bad idea regardless of skin health.
NTA - that is honestly unsanitary. Also, having eczema myself, I can’t imagine putting makeup over an active breakout, especially using someone else’s tools.
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NTA. In the future, just say you don’t share cosmetics because it can lead to issues for both parties, like bacterial growth. You’re just being safe. Stick to that rule; sharing is unhygienic.
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Whether you’re judging her doesn’t matter. Sharing makeup applicators is fundamentally unhygienic. If you must share, use disposables and never double-dip. It’s gross. Plus, she’s risking getting your bacteria in her open sores, which isn’t smart.
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It’s fine if you don’t want to share for hygiene reasons, but the issue is you agreed to it. You should have declined initially. You claimed you weren’t judgmental, but you explicitly said you were grossed out and wouldn’t have cared if she didn’t have a flare-up. That suggests it’s about her condition, not just hygiene. If you don’t want to share, don’t, but saying yes and then acting repulsed makes YTA.
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NTA. I have severe eczema too. While it’s not contagious, we are more prone to infections because of open skin. It’s also hard to distinguish a flare-up from an infection sometimes. Sharing makeup is already unsanitary. Next time, just say no. Your friend might be defensive because she feels bad about ‘ruining’ the makeup. Live and learn.
I assume you’re young because anyone older should know better than to share makeup. It’s disgusting even without eczema, but open sores make it much worse. Your friends are wrong. Stop sharing makeup with them. NTA.
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YTA for not declining at the start. You were clearly repulsed, and denying it feels dishonest. You could have avoided this by just saying you don’t share makeup. That said, your friend is also wrong for wanting to borrow foundation while having active sores. Sharing makeup is just gross in general.
YTA, but only because you gave her the green light. Next time, just say you don’t share for hygiene reasons. It shouldn’t be that hard to stand your ground.
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