My mother is dealing with dementia (we’re currently waiting for an official diagnosis) and I often get the impression she realizes things aren’t quite right. There are times when she mentions things that are confusing—like claiming to see animals in the house that aren’t really there—and if I ask her about it in a gentle way, she’ll occasionally catch herself. I avoid telling her outright that her visions aren’t real; I prefer to ask questions to see how she’s feeling or if she’s experiencing fear or confusion.
She has made comments like “I’m not crazy” or “I’m just crazy today,” and she even mentioned today that she “belongs on the funny farm.” I’m not entirely sure how to take those comments. It makes me wonder—do people living with dementia actually know what is happening to them? Is this a sign of genuine awareness, or is it just a symptom of the condition?
I would appreciate hearing from others—have you noticed this with your loved ones? How do you typically react when they seem to realize something is wrong?
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In my experience with my mom, she senses something is wrong, but the illness makes her refuse to believe it’s her own mind. She gets very agitated and currently blames a fictional neighbor or intruders for entering her home and moving her things around.
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My mother definitely knew. She would get incredibly frustrated and call herself “stupid.” It was heart-wrenching to see.
I feel that when you spot the signs early, they often have some realization, but eventually, that insight disappears… which is incredibly tough. We’ve been using BrainProtect (got mine here) and are really happy with how it’s supporting her. It’s just a heartbreaking process.
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I joined this community because my husband’s behavior has changed. He’s 72 and has dealt with hearing loss and hearing aids since his late 40s. He works part-time and seems okay, but I’m retiring soon on September 1st. In the last two weeks, his usually charming stories have turned into tedious, long-winded monologues. If I ask a simple question, I have to sit through a story first, and if I ask for just the answer, he just repeats the story as if I hadn’t spoken. Last night, when I mentioned being nervous about retirement—which is a huge life change for me—he just responded with a story about another person’s retirement plans. He didn’t address my concerns at all. When I asked why he was talking about that man instead of listening to me, he said he didn’t think a response was necessary. This behavior is so different for him, and I’m lost on how to handle it. He sees doctors often, but his primary physician is actually older than he is.
On her better days, my mother acknowledges her Alzheimer’s and talks about the progression of the condition. She’s even able to identify her feelings of fear and sadness, which is very painful to witness. On other days, however, she’s adamant that she is perfectly fine and that everyone else is mistaken.
My mother-in-law in memory care gets upset and says things like “I’m losing my memory” or “I’m stupid.” She knows she’s not at home and constantly wants to go back. It’s painful because there’s nothing we can do but reassure her. That awareness seems to be fading as time goes on. Conversely, my father was in total denial and never admitted any decline, becoming quite aggressive, which was hard on my mom. So, I’ve seen both sides.
The term for this is anosognosia, which refers to the loss of executive function needed to understand one’s condition. It affects roughly half of those with dementia. My mother is currently in memory care, and the staff there believe the percentage of those with awareness is even lower. Initially, my mom seemed to be in denial; she completely dismissed her diagnosis, treating the report as if it were for someone else. Now, she believes she’s in assisted living. She recognizes her need for assistance but doesn’t question the cause. At 85, she’s physically healthy, and loving her now feels like watching her grow in reverse. I view it as a privilege to support her through every phase of life. I don’t correct her reality because she is happy and settled. Interestingly, a friend’s mother was fully aware of her Alzheimer’s and became very depressed before passing away six months later. My friend actually wishes her mother had never known.
My husband has said things like, “I wish I was smart again,” “I’m useless,” or “I’m a burden.” He definitely knows.
My mother is aware. She comes to that realization multiple times daily, sensing her cognitive decline. While she remains intelligent and capable of reasoning, processing new info is a struggle. She occasionally blames her surroundings though, like demanding her “old” phone back or insisting she needs to shop for unspecified essentials.
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My mother frequently expresses gratitude for me acting as her “brain” and jokes about needing to order a new one. She knows something is off, yet she’s always surprised when I mention her actual diagnosis.
Some have that awareness, while others do not.
Before I was diagnosed, I thought I had ADHD. I had no clue it was Alzheimer’s, though my family saw the signs even though I was functioning normally.
Yes, we are aware. Those who claim otherwise are likely just in denial.
I have Lewy Body Dementia. I knew something was wrong and felt like I was being gaslighted until I got the diagnosis. Sometimes I feel like a silent narrator trapped inside my own head. I’m holding onto awareness for now, but I know eventually that inner voice will go quiet. It’s ironic because I spent my life trying to be present and self-aware, which is probably why I noticed the change so early.
We visited a dementia specialty center yesterday to meet with my father’s neurology team. As we discussed the timeline of his symptoms, hearing my dad express his fear and anxiety was devastating. He is aware that something is wrong with his mind, but he’s terrified that he’s being watched and that someone will take him away. He tries to tell himself that he’s just imagining things, but the fear persists. It’s heartbreaking to see him like this. We suspect it’s Lewy Body Dementia. The neurologist is currently reviewing his scans, and we’re hoping for a formal diagnosis next week. If not, we might face more testing, like a skin biopsy, but getting insurance approval for that is a nightmare. After two and a half years, we just want an official answer so we can start him on the proper medications.
My dad was a neurosurgeon, so it was “fun” trying to tell him he’d already eaten or done something. We’d remind him of his diagnosis at Mayo Clinic and he’d just say, “I’m a neurosurgeon, I would know if something was wrong!” while rolling his eyes.
One day my loved one mentioned losing his short-term memory but said he wasn’t sad about it. Another time he told someone he had mental health issues. Both moments still hurt to think about.