Details:
4-year-old female, 39 lbs, height unknown. No previous medical issues or prescriptions.
My sister lost her battle with brain cancer at age 12 when I was 17. The level of pain she went through was something I never knew was possible.
I spent years terrified of fatherhood, haunted by the idea that history might repeat itself. Eventually, my wife and I decided to have our daughter. She is now 4—a wonderful, intelligent, and quirky little girl. For a while, I let myself believe we were safe.
My therapist told me to stop fixating on the probabilities so I wouldn’t lose my mind.
Then, a few weeks back, my daughter received a diagnosis for a brain stem glioma—the same type my sister had. The medical team informed us that not much has improved; the prognosis remains very poor. It’s the same horror, just 23 years later.
I’m struggling with the thought that I caused this. It feels as though I somehow opened a door to this tragedy, or that I carried a hidden defect and gave it to her.
Does this specific cancer actually run in families? And why are the survival chances still so low?
38 Likes
Hello, I’m a nurse working in inpatient oncology. To my knowledge, most gliomas are not considered hereditary; in my experience, the patients I see usually have no family history of cancer. I really want to stress that you didn’t do this to your daughter, and you aren’t to blame for her illness. I am so incredibly sorry.
This is absolutely devastating to read. You shouldn’t have to carry this kind of sorrow. I’m not certain about the inheritance patterns of these cancers, but I know for sure that you aren’t responsible for her pain. You gave her life and filled it with purpose. You are the source of every happy moment she’s ever had. You and your daughter are both caught in something completely outside of your control. Your grief and your anger are entirely valid.
I’d suggest scheduling a meeting with a genetic counselor. There are specific genetic disorders, such as NF1, that can increase the likelihood of gliomas. Given your family history, a genetic workup is a smart move. If an underlying cause is identified, it could help determine the most effective treatment path.
I am deeply sorry for what you, your daughter, and your entire family are enduring. I can’t possibly imagine the depth of your emotions, but please know that whatever you’re feeling is completely justified. Anyone who hears about your daughter would want to fix this situation for you immediately. This is not your fault. We are all with you in spirit. Please utilize every medical and emotional support resource available to you. I wish I could change what is happening; this is heart-wrenching and I truly hope for the best for your family.