Doc, I'm here for an ear infection, not a lecture on gaining weight for pregnancy

Hey everyone, I’ve been reading here for a while but this is my first post. Please be patient as English isn’t my first language.

I felt compelled to share what happened to me at the clinic this morning.

I (27F) was dealing with intense ear pain and my hearing was significantly muffled. My usual GP was booked up, so I scheduled an appointment with a female colleague at the same practice whom I’d never met before.

During the visit, I explained my ear issue, but she insisted on a full exam, including weighing me. I noted a one-kilogram increase (I’m 166cm and around 51-52kg). She immediately remarked that weight gain is expected for women planning to conceive.

I’m a bit ashamed of my reaction, but I raised my voice and asked how she could assume I wanted children just because of my recent marriage. I told her it was completely unprofessional to link my weight to pregnancy prep, especially since she doesn’t know me and I was only there for my ears. I informed her of my severe endometriosis, which required two surgeries before I turned 21, and mentioned that part of my colon had to be removed due to it attaching to my uterus. My primary doctor is aware of my history and never treats me as if my only purpose is reproduction.

Then she said something revolting: “Did you get your husband’s consent to remain childless?” I was livid and yelled that I am an independent woman with bodily autonomy, and it’s my right to choose. My husband (30M) suffers from serious psychotic episodes and we are firmly child-free; he isn’t in a position to raise children. My usual doctor understands this and would never suggest we are the “perfect” candidates for parenthood.

She began to backtrack, explaining she was unmarried, childless, and post-menopausal, adding that her religion dictates women shouldn’t make such choices alone. I told her that’s no excuse to pry into my personal life or child-free status when I’m just here for an ear infection.

I ended up walking out before she even examined my ears or provided any care.

After paying, she approached me to apologize for her comments on my weight and the “permission” remark. I was so upset that I caused a bit of a scene, which I now feel slightly guilty about.

Weeks later, she appeared at the same puppy training class with a Labrador. My husband and I glared at her for a while, but I’ve moved past it now.

For the record, it was a serious infection, and my regular doctor treated it perfectly without once mentioning my weight or my reproductive system.

End of rant!

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I am so sorry you went through that; her behavior was incredibly unprofessional.

Don’t feel guilty at all. That physician was way out of bounds and absolutely earned a public call-out for such incompetence. I would have reacted the same way.

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Good for you. She needed to hear that. Let’s hope she treats her dog better than her patients.

I understand the guilt, but this confrontation was necessary for both of you. Don’t stay silent when people are being idiots or trying to pressure women into motherhood. Calling them out is important. Based on her apology, you might have actually shifted her perspective, making her think twice before acting like that again. Challenging that kind of sexist, preachy attitude is a major victory.

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in her religion women can’t decide these things by themselves.

“Sticking with a cruel, sexist religion is your choice, not mine. No wonder you can’t handle a basic ear infection if you think you’re incapable of making your own choices. I’m not paying for this visit.”

You showed a lot of backbone. It’s great to see women standing up for themselves like this.

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