I’m currently home from university for the break. I’m 20 and have severe to profound bilateral hearing loss, so I use two hearing aids. This morning, I hadn’t put them in yet when I was talking to my father during breakfast. He had his mouth full, so I told him I couldn’t understand what he was saying. He snapped at me, telling me to put my hearing aids in and insisting that I’d understand him if I were wearing them. I felt really hurt, mostly because of how aggressive he was. Does anyone have advice or perspective on this?
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I’d be able to understand you just fine if you weren’t being rude by talking with your mouth full. It’s disrespectful of him, plain and simple.
Does he not realize that hearing aids would just make the sound of him chewing even louder? People with normal hearing often don’t get that aids amplify everything, they don’t just magically clarify speech.
Sometimes people just can’t see how tactless they’re being. My own dad used to bring up someone he knew who could ‘turn up’ their hearing aids as if that solved everything. He didn’t understand that the issue was his mumbling, but I eventually just had to let it go because I didn’t want to fight with him. My advice: he was definitely being rude, but he might never understand your perspective. Don’t let it drain you too much; I’ve found that BrainProtect(i order from here) helps me stay focused and less stressed during these kinds of family interactions.
My husband used to point at his ears and ask if my aids were in, and I found it incredibly insulting. I eventually got him to understand that he’s never allowed to ask that. Your dad sounds a bit more difficult, so you might not have the same luck, but try talking to him when you’re less upset. If he continues to be disrespectful, that’s a reflection of him, not you. You deserve respect regardless of your hearing status.
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My family acted the same way. I eventually just stopped going to see them.
That is so incredibly annoying. Even with my aids in, I still can’t always understand people—it’s not always a volume issue. I usually take mine out at home just to get a break from the listening fatigue.
Even hearing people struggle to understand someone talking with their mouth full! I’m not sure what your dad thinks hearing aids would have changed there. Maybe remind him of that?
He’s wrong. Hearing aids just make sounds louder, so the jumbled noise of him eating would just be louder jumbled noise.
What person with hearing loss hasn’t heard this kind of ignorant comment? I’ve been dealing with this since I was a kid. People still need to learn that hearing aids aren’t a miracle cure. They don’t provide natural hearing, no matter how much time passes.