Living with IBS

Digestion & Gut Health
1

Had to go into the workplace today for the first time in twelve months.

9:15am: Got to the office. My team lead asked for a coffee chat. Felt obligated to agree. Got a flat white.

9:30am: IBS flare-up hits the restroom hard. Using that thin 1-ply paper feels like coarse sandpaper. Had a messy wiping mishap.

10:00am: My manager wants a coffee meeting. Couldn’t decline. Foolishly went for a double-shot flat white.

10:15am: Back in the stall thanks to the IBS. Wiping again, and the paper feels even rougher now. Seeing some blood.

11:00am: Now the Director wants to talk over coffee. I didn’t learn my lesson. I got a skinny latte.

11:15am: IBS strikes again. The toilet paper feels like industrial grit. More bleeding and it’s painful to touch. Ended up just padding myself with paper.

12:00pm: Ate cheesy pasta and drank two beers for lunch.

Current status: Out $70 on food and drinks, feeling extremely bloated, and struggling to make it home on the train without an accident. Accomplished zero work today.

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2

If you fold that 1-ply three times, it’s technically 3-ply paper.

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3

“Tell us about a situation where you managed several ‘pressing’ matters in quick succession.”

4

Man, you’re doing this to yourself. You really need to stick to peppermint tea.

5

You should probably quit the coffee. It’s easy enough to just say you’ve already had one; you can still socialize while they drink theirs.

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6

Expert advice: those coffee shops also have juice, tea, or water. You’re causing your own problems here.

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