My mother's idea of celebrating my first month of dieting is a restaurant visit

Weight-Loss, Diets & Keto
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I messaged my mom to let her know I’ve dropped 15 pounds in my first month, and I’m really proud of myself. She replied by suggesting we go out for dinner tonight… to reward me for losing weight? I questioned why we’d celebrate eating less by eating more, and her excuse was simply “that’s just how we do things.” Going to restaurants usually triggers my binge eating. I’ve only eaten out a few times this month, and I always made sure it fit my daily calorie limit. It’s frustrating when family uses your success as a reason to potentially derail your progress. I just wanted to vent because I’m sure many of you deal with family members who don’t quite get it. I’m also open to any advice.

Update: There are so many replies I can’t keep up! Thanks for the support and kind words. I realize my mom wasn’t trying to hurt me; I was just venting about how people don’t understand the relationship between food and weight loss. My family has always centered things around food—several relatives have had gastric surgery and struggled with their weight, including my mom. I didn’t think I’d face the same issues, but I have. The frustration came from her lack of understanding. She’s actually very supportive of my journey, but she’s often pushy about “cheat days” involving unhealthy food. Those are the hardest for me. I shouldn’t have assumed she was sabotaging me. I prefer planning my treats, so this sudden suggestion caught me off guard and stressed me out. I usually plan restaurant trips days in advance to stay on track. I’ve now picked a place where I can stay within my limits and I’ve fasted today to prepare. Thanks for the advice! This community is great. Good luck to everyone else! :heart:

32 Likes
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This could be a good chance to test your discipline. Think about the long term—you can’t avoid restaurants forever if you want this to be sustainable. Why not check the menu online first and decide what to order? That way you keep control over a stressful situation. Or, you could suggest a different way to celebrate, like an activity or a shopping trip.

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It’s kind of her to want to celebrate, but maybe you could suggest something else? Perhaps buying a new outfit for your changing body, or getting a manicure? You could even do something active like a hike. I doubt she’s trying to sabotage you; she likely just doesn’t know any other way to celebrate. For many, food is deeply tied to celebration. Try to help her think of alternatives! Great job on the progress!

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Just a thought, but there’s nothing wrong with a nice meal as a reward. A single day won’t undo everything, and your mom likely isn’t being mean-spirited; she just communicates through food. You can find low-calorie options if you check the menu beforehand. Also, maintenance days are helpful for long-term success and avoiding disordered eating habits. I’ve been at this for five years now. Congrats on the 15 lbs!