A few years back, I dropped a significant amount of weight—about 30 kg. Having been heavy since childhood, I discovered I’m actually naturally slim. My facial structure changed from being very round to having a defined jaw and prominent cheekbones. To be clear, I’m not at all underweight; my BMI sits at 21. It seems my relatives aren’t happy about it, though. I’m one of the only ones in my immediate family at a healthy weight, as most of the men are overweight and the women are obese. Every time we get together, my aunts, uncles, and cousins make a point to corner me and claim I’ve gotten too skinny. When questioned, they say my face looks too narrow and should be rounder. They even demand to know my weight and lecture me about gaining 10 kg, which would actually make me overweight again. They claim they’re just concerned, yet they joke about giving me their extra pounds so we’d both be “ideal.” I can usually brush it off since I live far away, but my sister is struggling. She’s currently losing weight and just reached a healthy BMI, and the family is already pestering her to stop. She’s understandably frustrated by the unwanted medical opinions. Has anyone else dealt with this? What’s the best way to handle these types of comments?
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It’s wonderful that you’re there to support your sister. You might suggest she look into online support groups that offer round-the-clock encouragement. Research shows we require a lot more positive reinforcement to offset a single negative remark, so keep cheering her on and telling her she’s doing a fantastic job.
“Whatever. My doctor says I’m doing fine.”
That’s my go-to line whenever colleagues give me a hard time for choosing a salad.
My father told me I looked sickly and haggard, but he changed his tune and apologized after I gave his stomach a playful pat. It might be a bit petty, but I feel like if people are going to be disrespectful about your physique, you don’t have to be polite about theirs.