HEADS UP: This is quite lengthy. There’s a TL;DR at the bottom if you want to skip the details.
Honestly, I really blew it today. I’ve been with my partner, K, for five years now. We’re a solid couple—living together, sharing pets, the whole deal. I’ve actually wanted to marry her for the last two years, but my health got in the way. I was diagnosed with a rare condition and have been through rounds of various meds and chemo.
It’s been a massive strain on us, but K has been my rock. My illness, GPA, is chronic and can be fatal if not managed, and my case has been particularly difficult. I’m currently trying an experimental drug because nothing else has worked. It’s a scary time. Because of my health, I’ve been stuck inside and haven’t felt like I could commit to a future.
I wanted to be in remission before getting married so I wouldn’t leave her as a widow. We had discussed this and I thought we agreed to wait. However, a few hours ago, K proposed in a crowded restaurant with my family watching.
I saw my dad—who loves to meddle—grinning, and I just lost it. I panicked about my health and felt manipulated by my father’s presence. My dad has a history of overstepping boundaries since I was a teen, often setting impossible standards for me. Anyway, I started stuttering and basically blurted out “no way” before running out of the place. I left her crying and everyone staring. I felt terrible.
After talking to my mom, I went back to see K. We talked privately in the parking lot. She called me out for being selfish, saying she wanted to be with me regardless of my health. She also clarified that the proposal was her idea alone, not my dad’s. We made up, realized we both had some communication issues, and decided to get engaged.
I’m still uncertain about my health, but I’m happy to be with my best friend. K is everything to me.
TL;DR: Said no to a proposal due to health fears and family stress, but we talked it out and now we’re engaged.
EDIT: Thanks for the awards!