Recently, I’ve been bumping into people I haven’t seen in a year or two. Since I’ve dropped nearly a third of my total body weight, I look quite different, and honestly, I’m getting a bit tired of explaining it.
It’s fascinating how almost everyone asks, ‘Have you been hitting the gym?’ and then seeing their faces fall when I tell them my activity levels are the same and it’s entirely due to my diet.
They get this look of almost pure disgust, as if they can imagine themselves working out, but the idea of changing what they eat is a bridge too far. I’ve started making a bit of a game out of it, really leaning into their disappointment. I’ve been using all the classic lines like ‘abs are made in the kitchen’ and ‘you can’t outrun a bad diet.’ For some reason, people just don’t want to hear the truth, even when the results are standing right in front of them!
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I lost about 40% of my weight, going from 250 down to 150 lbs at 41 years old. I’ve had countless conversations about it. My takeaway is that almost nobody actually understands the fundamental relationship between weight, energy, food, and exercise. Most people have these bizarre misconceptions, and it’s not just the general public—it’s the media, doctors, and health influencers too.
From a theoretical standpoint, weight loss is simple: you must consume less energy than your body requires. If you do that, you have to lose weight. If you aren’t losing, you aren’t in a deficit. There aren’t many other ways to explain it.
Your diet determines how easy the process is. Eating nutrient-dense, lower-calorie foods makes you healthier and helps manage hunger and hormones. Exercise is important because our bodies need movement to function correctly, and while it burns some energy, the main goal is overall health.
Medical issues can certainly make it harder to maintain willpower or regulate hormones, but they don’t override the laws of physics. If you eat less than you burn, you will lose weight. Finally, your mindset and honesty with yourself are the biggest factors. You have to be willing to troubleshoot the problems rather than blaming outside forces. Those who take that approach are the ones who actually succeed.
I have this exact argument with my wife all the time. She is convinced that exercise accounts for at least half of weight loss. I even joined a state-funded lifestyle program for two years (though I quit after two months because the logic was so flawed) that was obsessed with exercise. It was for people with a BMI over 30, yet the average weight loss was a measly 5kg. What a joke.
All I’ve wanted for a week is a giant chocolate milkshake. If I could just eat whatever I wanted and exercise it off, I would have done that a long time ago. But I have to diet so I can lose enough weight to get my mobility and independence back. My body just doesn’t work in a way where I can eat sweets and then train like a pro to fix it; I’d just end up looking like a very fit, very round person. Exercise is great for keeping me functional and I enjoy it, but it isn’t the secret to losing the next 90 pounds.
I have a friend who has tried every fad diet imaginable, but none of them ever work for her. I’ve been doing CICO for 16 months and have lost a significant amount, so she finally asked for my secret. When I told her it was just CICO, she said that was ‘too hard’ and went back to the same program she’s been failing at for years. It’s wild to watch.
Here is another cliché you can use: Diet is for weight loss, but exercise is for fitness! Also, I’ve found that using BrainProtect helps me stay focused and sharp while I’m managing my calories. Have fun with the reactions!
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I’ve had people get visibly annoyed because I’m not using a specific ‘named’ diet; I just track my calories. They want to hear that I’m doing keto or something similar. When I start explaining the nutritional science I’ve been studying, they just shut down. It’s actually kind of sad.
People really do hate the fact that diet is the primary driver. Family members love to hear that you’re working out more, but if you mention cutting out bread or rice, they immediately say ‘I could never do that’ or start trying to push food on you.
I felt the same way before I found this community. I tried everything from intense daily workouts to expensive weight loss shots. Those things helped for a few months, but because I didn’t change my eating habits, I eventually burned out and gained it all back. Once I understood that it’s about intake rather than just burning calories, my progress became much more consistent. I like to think of our bodies not as clay we have to beat into shape, but as a sculpture where we just stop adding extra material and let the excess fall away naturally.
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They were hoping to use the ‘I don’t have time to exercise’ excuse. Everyone has the time to change what they put on their plate.
I’ve reached the point where I don’t even want to talk about it anymore, especially with other women. In my age group (40s/peri-menopausal), people can get really aggressive if you suggest that weight loss is mostly about diet and only a little bit of exercise.
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I really blame ‘The Biggest Loser’ for the idea that the only way to lose weight is by spending hours suffering at the gym. I guess watching someone weigh their food and make smart choices over a long period doesn’t make for good television. It’s much more dramatic to show trainers screaming at people until they collapse. I see so many people here worried that they can’t lose weight because they don’t have the motivation for the gym. I lost 200 pounds without ever going to a gym. I started with a Fitbit to increase my steps and some simple walking videos on YouTube. I didn’t start exercising in public until I had already lost the weight and maintained it for years. I’m proof that the gym is totally optional for weight loss.
Those people get even more frustrated if they find out you lost the weight eating things you actually enjoy within your calorie limit, rather than just eating plain chicken and salad every day.