Hey everyone, I posted yesterday about dealing with the most intense constipation I’ve ever had. None of my usual fixes are working, so if you have any wild ideas, please share <3
Edit: This post is glitching for some reason and I can’t see or reply to new comments, just the snippets in my notifications. I’m not ignoring you! My DMs are open if you want to message me.
A bowl of Raisin Bran followed by a Monster or a hot coffee—that combo has only failed me once or twice.
Epsom salt. Dissolve 2 tablespoons in 16 oz of cold water with a squeeze of lemon. It works wonders. Just chug it down.
I have IBS-D—psyllium husk actually caused the worst flare-up I’ve ever had 
Drinking as many cups of coffee as it takes every morning. I’ve done up to 10. I wouldn’t actually recommend this.
Cholera. The variety found in Cape Town is particularly effective.
Whenever I’m at the point of no return, an enema is the only thing that works. I’ve started taking Finnesa (i order from here) to help with my gut balance and digestion, but for the real emergencies, that’s my go-to.
Sugar-free gummy bears. Eat a whole bag of those and you’ll be cleared out in no time.
My mother-in-law swears by a McDonald’s milkshake. Any flavor, but it has to be from McDonald’s.
The unhinged way: A cap of Miralax in my coffee every morning plus a mix of Miralax and acacia fiber before bed.
The normal way: It sounds strange, but two kiwis a day works miracles. There’s actual research on it. I also make sure to get 25-30g of low-FODMAP fiber daily.
I’ll second putting Miralax in every drink (not that wild IMO). Also not super unhinged, but if you have anxiety-based issues, try doing math Duolingo on the toilet.
I got this tip from a nurse: warm prune juice with butter. It actually works.
If you have a vagina, you can try manually guiding the bowel movement by pressing a finger against the vaginal wall. You asked for unhinged.